Our daughter has a wedding planned for June 13 but because of the covid-19 pandemic growing exponentially, what has been being planned is changing. Anyone who’s ever been engaged knows there are dreams and hopes for a special wedding day. We’ve been making plans, but life throws curve balls. It can still be a special day, just not as one had thought.

Life is like that. It doesn’t always go as we think it should.

I love this drawing:

A lot of people have been posting about suffering and I wanted to add my voice to the choir.

This is from my journal two years into our missionary journey overseas. We had taken in twin boys after living overseas one year and six weeks. One of the twins had many health issues and was in the hospital frequently the first six months we had him. It was hard on all of us and God used this to start teaching me about the theology of suffering…..

4/9/08 Falling Uphill? Are we still on the climb and falling uphill to You, Jesus? Renew us, Jesus. We need it. Jerard is sick again. His shunt seems infected. He has another surgery tomorrow.

I feel initiated into the “Fellowship of the Sufferers” (like Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring and based on Hebrews 12 and Romans 8:17). You, Jesus, are my glorious intruder. You are in the chaos of life. You are in the trial and heartaches. There is a wonderful, inexplicable participation in the life and power of Jesus in suffering.

I can have joy and comfort as I travel in this fellowship of suffering. You, Jesus, endured Your suffering “for the joy set before Him” (Heb 12:2) so that I can have joy and comfort IN my sufferings. I have a host of believers who are already in heaven cheering me on. Yes, in the midst of pain it may feel like I am alone but at the darkest times You, Jesus, work Your greatest work in my life and my family’s life and I must remember that I am in a fellowship – a fellowship of sufferers.

There are times in the midst of trial I, like Job, wonder why You, God, ever allowed me to be born. And I am thankfully learning it is okay with You if I vent frustration and anger. I used to think I couldn’t do that, but You want my honesty.

What needs to be understood is that Christ, as my gentle shepherd, leads me and each of us in this family on the path You have chosen. The path can lead through valleys deep and dark, full of pain, tumult, confusion, chaos and also the path can be restful. And the two can dwell together – joy and sorrow meeting, amalgamating in deep, trust-filled joy in You alone.

There are seasons it seems for the dark and the rest; just as in nature there are seasons. God has a rhythm and order to all He designs. But no matter where the path is leading the main thing is to keep my eyes on You, Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. To You be the glory forever and ever.

I don’t even pray anymore for the sufferings to end. I don’t want to get short-changed on lessons Christ has for me to learn. As much as I hate sitting in this hospital room away from the rest of my children, if there’s a lesson for me to learn here, then let me learn it………No matter the storm big or little – He Is. He is able to sympathize with our weaknesses; His word is sharp and active, piercing to the division of soul and spirit…discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Obedience is learned through suffering. I can draw confidently near to His throne of Grace to find mercy and grace to help in time of need. Trials, storms, sufferings of various kinds do equal God’s curriculum. Your word, O Lord, is my rock.

Published by pianobeth7

I'm a mom. Our family lived overseas for 11 1/2 years. The mission field was rich with healing and deepening faith in Christ. I enjoy piano playing, cooking, writing, reading, doing projects. I've been married to my husband since 1990. I have a bachelor degree in social work and a masters in counseling, non-licensure. I've taught creative writing, English, and New Testament at the international school my kids attended while living overseas.

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